You're pretty tired (or at least I think/hope you are) since we have been out all day at the corn festival in Fairborn. Well, it was actually too hot at the corn festival to celebrate corn in any kind of effective manner, so after we ate our fill of deep-fried foods, we headed to Grandma Latham's (well, Great-Grandma Latham's) to visit in the air conditioning. Air conditioning is a wonderful thing. I often wonder what it would have been like if I were born into a different century, without running water, indoor plumbing, and air conditioning.
I'm pretty pleased that I also missed the dark ages, the bubonic plague, and whatever the deal was with the Ottoman Empire.
These kinds of thoughts are what you have when you are the child of a history teacher.
With that in mind, in lieu of having something super-well-thought-out to say/write, I thought I'd write some random things I remember about myself as a kid, to entertain you. I need to do something to make up for the fact that we took pictures of you yesterday wearing a t-shirt, a diaper, and a small hat formerly worn by the army fatigue-wearing teddy bear that Auntie Mel gave you. So here are some (very) random things about your mommy as a kid:
1. Grandaddy used to make me watch the movies Ghandi and the Lion in Winter once each per year before he showed it to his European History classes. I found this to be cruel and unusual punishment and considered on several occasions writing to the Supreme Court about it. My understanding, though, was that they had bigger and more important things to deal with. I took offense.
2. My absolute favorite summer dessert was soft serve vanilla/chocolate swirl ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. Uncle Gerard used to get chocolate with chocolate sprinkles which I felt to be a total waste of time.
3. I had very, very curly hair. When I was in 8th grade I started to iron it. This was not a good idea for many reasons, not the least of which was the burn on my leg that occurred when the iron, precariously placed on my bed, propped by my Caboodles makeup organizer, rolled off and landed on my shin.
4. Your uncle Gerard used to leave notes on my bed signed "the aliens," stating that I would be abducted the following evening. As you can imagine, this was rather upsetting. Should you have younger siblings some day, please do not do this.
5. I wanted to be a forensic psychologist before I knew what one was. This may have something to do with the fact that I used to watch Unsolved Mysteries even though I wasn't allowed to, and then lay awake at night, fearful that I, myself, might be able to help solve one of those mysteries.
6. I HATED pork roast. Like, with passion. I also hated black beans, mushrooms, brussel sprouts and most steak dishes. I've changed my mind on all but the mushrooms.
So there are 6 random things about your mom, that I could come up with in 6 minutes while you were upstairs having bathtime with Daddy. These things are probably not of much use for you, though someday, if I bring out those pictures of you wearing the little hat, the diaper and the tshirt, you can tell your girlfriend that your mom once burned her leg due to improper use of an iron and a Caboodles makeup organizer.
Calvin & Hobbes
6 months ago